johnsu01 (johnsu01) wrote,

In the Dressing Room

I had a real rollercoaster of a day. Well, a kiddie rollercoaster,
anyway. A Beastie.

Just got back from seeing the Manchurian Candidate. I haven't given it
much thought yet. All I can say right now is, not bad. But I think
it's just a thriller. I'm not sure what it adds to the original. It's
been ten years since I saw the original, so I can't really elaborate
on the finer differences and similarities between them. I know that I
left thinking, So what? Denzel Washington was real good though.

I spent a good part of the day buying suits at the mall. By the way,
what is a reasonable charge for alterations? Because I think I got
taken, in a big, big way. There's more to say about this shopping
trip, but first things first.

I had a nasty run in with a cop in the fitting room at Macy's.

Yes, you heard right. So, I go into the fitting room hive. All the
doors are closed. I try to figure out which ones are occupied and
which aren't. I guess right, at least in the sense that there is no
person in the cell. However, there is a pair of jeans tossed on the
bench. They're jeans. I can't tell if they are someone's pants, or a
pair of jeans someone decided they didn't want and left in the
room. This happens all the time in places I shop..

There are no other personal effects in the room. I had seen no other
people inside the fitting room hive, nor outside the entrance, except
for a little boy watching cartoons on the wall TV (man do I wish they
had that shit hooked up when I was little shopping with my mom).

I strip down and start trying on a suit. I get everything on. I'm
buttoning the jacket. There's someone outside the door.

Guy: "Hey! Hello?"

Me: "Um, yeah?"

Guy: "Is there a paira pants in there?"

Me: "Yeah."

Guy: "Open the door please."

Me: "Uh, ok."

I open the door. Heavyset middle-aged gentleman enters the cell with
me. He shuts the door. We are standing uncomfortably close, obviously.

Guy, yelling: "What the hell were you thinking? Didn't you see these pants, my
pants, and wallet and everything in here?"

Me, not yelling: "Wallet? No, I didn't go through the pants. Yeah, I
saw the pants, but I thought someone had just tried them on and left
them in here."

Guy, yelling: "I don't know how they do it in your country, or what
country you're from, but here in the US that means the dressing room
is in use and so you don't use it. What were you thinking?"

Me, not yelling: "Uhh.."

Guy, angry: "Well, buddy, you just ran into a cop. So you're gonna stand
right there for a minute."

Me, getting irritated: "Look, I didn't take anything, I didn't touch
the pants."

The guy really is a cop, I think, I mean, he's being very careful to
stand between me and the door while he reaches over and gets his
pants. He fishes out his wallet and starts going through it, counting
the bills and checking all the credit cards, and keeping an eye on me.

It was a good uncomfortable two minutes.

Cop, disgusted: "All right, get your stuff and get out of here. (while
I'm getting my stuff together) I can't believe you. I don't know how
they do it in your country."

Me, helpful: "You know, people leave clothes in these things all the time. They
should probably have tags to hang on the door here or something." The
cop opens the door for me and I walk out.

Cop: "Well, it's not written down, but in the US, it's Frontier
Law. You just don't do it."

So, what the fuck.

1) I was lectured on Frontier Law by a cop. What else does he think is
just Frontier Law, even though it's not written down?

2) The dressing room is a Frontier?

3) Cops are obviously never off-duty. This guy was out shopping for
pants, and still ready to kick some ass.

4) Do I not look like an American? I'm still trying to figure this one

5) It's so nice to meet police that obviously aren't prejudiced toward
people from other countries. Actually I make this joke all them time,
"See, in America, we..." but this guy wasn't really joking.

6) If you're a cop, you should know better than to leave your wallet,
cell phone, keys and pants in a fitting room while you go walk off to
wherever and back.

7) If I were more paranoid, I would not have opened the door for this
character. What was _I_ thinking? I'm in there changing my clothes and
some dude is like, "Hey, let me in!" Um, no. Get out of here before I
call the cops. Oh, wait..

So much to write about today, but I'll stop there. John Kerry on SUVs
really got me going today though. I can't vote for him, I just can't.

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