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Super Bowl Breaking News [07 Feb 2004|01:32am]
[ mood | Nerdy ]

HOUSTON,TX Speculation by league official Paul Taggedmeaboob that the Carolina Panthers's place kicker threw the game by kicking the ball out of bounds, giving the Patriots the field position they needed to reach field goal range in the closing moments of the fourth quarter, has been drowned out by a a new series of rumors surrounding a more vile and disturbing plot.

Many fans might have noticed a repeated gesture made by Carolina Panthers players and coaches during the first half. At various moments in the game when they were on camera, they thumped their chest with their right fist. At the time, this was interpreted by sportscaster and rocket scientist Phil Simms as "showing heart".

FCC authorities, though, are now reporting that this gesture may in fact be linked to the tragedy that occurred at halftime, the tragedy that has torn families and friends apart---the display of a frontal-nudity-related-program by queen of pop and sister of child molestor Janet Jackson.

"We now have reason to believe that this...gesture...was actually a signal to Justin Timberlake, an equivalent of a 'thumbs up'. Our work with the videotapes released by Osama Bin Laden as communiques to his terrorist thugs around the world has caused us to be especially attuned to these types of messages," said US Homeland Security czar Tom Ridge.

The incident is under investigation. In the meantime, the terror alert level has been raised to "Boobie". The FBI recommends avoiding TV monitors that may be showing replays of the incident, and not trusting anybody.

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Free Speech in Iraq [07 Feb 2004|09:28am]
[ mood | Irritable ]

Catching up on last Sunday's paper before tomorrow's Sunday paper arrives. Boston Globe.

"Iraq's US-appointed Governing Council has barred reporters from the Arab news channel Al-Jazeera from government offices and news conferences for a month, the council said in a statement yesterday."

The US has taken action against Al-Jazeera before. They have no reason other than that Al-Jazeera does not agree with them. Isn't the point of free speech to allow for disagreement?

"In September, the Governing Council imposed a two-week ban on Al-Jazeera and Al-Arabiya, a Dubai-based news channel, because it suspected the stations had violated rules that include not disclosing information about pending attacks on US troops."

Ok, so the Globe doesn't always have the best writing. I assume they mean by this sentence that there is a rule requiring stations to report pending attacks, not that the rule is to not report attacks, which is what it actually says.

Since when are news agencies supposed to provide the US military with intelligence information? And since when are they banned from doing any kind of reporting unless they provide that information? If this rule required agencies to report any information related to _any_ pending loss of life, I could accept it a little easier.

Not much of a free press taking shape there. I guess this is what happens when you invade a country looking for weapons that aren't there and only afterwards claim to be liberating it---you have no plan for establishing a free society.

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