johnsu01 (johnsu01) wrote,

S is for Scientology

A brief update in my ongoing surveillance of Scientology, wherein I repeat somebody else's joke.

Yesterday, T brought in a book on Scientology. It was called, What is Scientology, and it is published by the Church itself.

It looks like a textbook. It might hurt if you dropped it on your foot. It cost $1 at Buck-A-Book. That's really something, because most of the books at Buck-A-Book actually cost more than a Buck. The typography is horrible.

There are many frightening things in this book.

I learned in the testimonials section that Chick Corea is a Scientologist. How can that be? Past, Present & Futures is such a hot album! I guess now I have to prefer Herbie Hancock (he's a Buddhist).

Toward the rear of the tome, there is a collection of graphs and statistics showing basically the demographic that is the Scientology flock.

These numbers, I believe, are primarily intended to show that people who belong to Scientology are winners. They succeed in life, they don't do drugs, they don't commit crimes, they get laid, etc.

The Church is attempting to convey the impression of causality through pretty pictures and pie charts, when none of the information actually shows that. It could of course just as easily show that only people who do not do drugs or commit crimes and who get laid whenever they want become Scientologists in the first place.

Anyway, here's a good one: "98% of Scientologists do not receive public assistance or welfare."

As T said, "You mean the pay-as-you-go religion doesn't have people who are on welfare?!"


Tags: religion, scientology
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